Thursday, March 28, 2013

23 Ways To Win Over Your Mother In Law

Are you married? About to marry? Are you terrified at the mere mention of the name ‘mother-in-law’? Do you feel a few drops of hot urine stream down your panties when you hear your mother-in-law knocking at the door? Well, I grew up in West Africa and I know that some mothers-in-law are actually monsters-in-law (but that is not to say that all daughters-in-law are angels). So, how do you become best of friends with the mother of your husband and lover? Let’s roll!
As a wife, it is a great fear lurking in your heart, and you wonder: Will my mother-in-law tear us apart? Will she hate me with passion? Or love me like a daughter? What can I do? What will I do? Will he support her and tell me to go to hell? Get a glass of chilled pineapple juice and relax! I can feel your heart thumping already, and yeah, get a handkerchief and wipe off the steamy sweat! The legendary war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been there from the beginning of time but with wisdom, you will not only survive it, you will be a darling daughter to your mama-in-law. Memorize these tips, girl!

1. Never See Your Mother-In-Law As Your Rival:
Actions start from thoughts and you nursing such dangerous ideas will only lead you astray. See her as who she is: your mother-in-law and the mother of your husband, and hopefully, your newest female friend. She is NOT your rival. Some ladies enter marriage with a nuclear arsenal and the mindset of ‘demolishing’ their ‘enemy’. Don’t create problems for yourself. As a woman thinketh in her heart, so she is. Yelz ke.

2. Do Not Put Him In A Tight Corner:
Some ladies go to the silly extent of giving the guy an ultimatum or asking that nauseating question to choose between you and his mother (like who does that?) If you cannot differentiate between maternal love and spousal love, then you are not ready to become a wife. Your roles are different, distinct AND separate. It is also an idiotic or kpalasa husband who will ask you to choose between him or your own mother. Water and oil are both liquids, but they just don’t mix. Hope you get that, sweetheart? Next!

3. Become A Detective:
Huh? I don’t mean you have to take up a job with the FBI or the SSS, but hell yes, get as much information as possible about your mother-in-law. Know her preferences, understand her thinking, comprehend what she likes (especially what will make her laugh no matter how angry she is) and those things that really makes her go gaga with fury. Such CIA job should not be too much for you to do for a woman you will be stuck with for years. I said be a detective and not a spy….lol! Your hubby will surely help you with that.

4. Be Respectful And Courteous:
According to the Yorubas, ile oko, ile eko ni. What that means is that marriage is a place to learn (especially manners, etiquette and good behaviour). If you really love and respect your husband in the first place, you will have no problem with this. If you are too pompous, arrogant or downright disrespectful, you may as well stop reading here. In virtually all the societies of the world, respecting your in-laws is very crucial to having a warm relationship with them and stabilizing your own marriage. However, I must mention something very important here: to be respectful does not mean you should become a slave or servant. You are a wife and you must always maintain your dignity. Do not be rude but be firm. A daughter-in-law does not have the same spelling as a housemaid. Hope you get my English?

5. Never Make The Mistake:
Of what? Of pointing out a mistake, flaw or error of your mother-in-law in front of your hubby. You are his wife and as a lady, there are much more subtle and cunny ways to draw his attention. Do not criticize your mother-in-law. Ridicule her, you ridicule your lover, and of course, the granny of your kids. According to Shimon Peres, the Israeli President, there are two things in life that you cannot achieve without closing a bit of your eyes: peace and love. Let me rephrase that: the personal lifestyle of your MIL is not your business.

6. Do Not Be Too Forward:
Inasmuch as you are to be proactive when relating with your mother-in-law, do not try too hard to impress. Do not go to her place everyday (familiarity breeds contempt) but see her on special occasions or when she requests to see your lovely face (with or without your husband and kids). According to one of the 48 Laws of Power, scarcity will always create value. If you don’t believe that, why are diamonds much more valued than stones and rocks? You will come out as fake and you may even be suspected of having a hidden agenda if you are always trying too hard. Remember how that girlfriend of yours irritates you with her fake life? Be yourself, be natural and genuine. She will appreciate that.

7. Let Her Know You Love Him:
Yes, forget the superficial jealousy, a mother-in-law will love you to pieces when she knows that her son is in safe hands. But, that has to be done with maturity. Every mother wants a good wife for her son but their maternal instincts makes it difficult for them to just let go. Blame the hormones. Prove to her (by your actions) that you are caring enough and you will over-ride her instincts.

8. Appreciate Her Gestures Of Kindness:
Not all mother-in-laws are devils. Some are really really very nice and will love you immensely even before they meet you. Appreciate them and not take them for granted.

9. Discuss With Him:
In a case where your duties as a wife are being encroached by an overbearing mother-in-law who will dictate what he eats or what he wears, register your displeasure with him (but relate well with her). A loving husband will come back to his senses, and a sensible hubby will not even allow such a scenario in the first place

10. Place Yourself In Her Shoes:
Know that it hurts her and is a patch of mixed feelings. Yes, he is your husband but it’s still her son, even though she now knows that another lady (YOU!) will now get all the attention and devotion that she has received UNCHALLENGED for decades. She will subconsciously see you as a coup-plotter ovethrowing her ‘government’, and displacing her from power. Once you understand this, you should be smart enough to sympathize with her by reacting with wisdom. In short, do not take everything personal.

11. Detach Yourself When It Gets Too Hot:
If she is still determined to give you a tough time and make life hell for you, detach yourself emotionally and discuss with your husband. Just know that some mother-in-laws are incorrigible and can never be satisfied. Do not kill yourself over that. Maintain your distance but never disrespect her or worsen the condition. At this point, your hubby will do the rest of the healing.

12. Gauge Yourself:
Are you wicked yourself? Yes, you. Stop rolling your eyes…lol! Is there anything evil or indecent about you that is always pissing off your mother-in-law? For the sake of your marriage and peace in your home, assess yourself and make sure that there is no fault from your own side.

13. Draw The Lines:
You married her son, and not her. Let her know when she is crossing the boundaries. Do this compassionately and very subtly. Get clues from your spouse. In the African setting, many mother-in-laws find it very easy to intimidate wives who do not seem firm or do not even know the basic responsibilities of a wife. But remember, in asserting your rights as a wife, do it with the tact and skills of a diplomat. Don’t get him irritated.

14. Sync Her Up With Your Own Mother:
Mothers-in-law suffer from the same ‘son absence syndrome’ and always understand themselves better. Also, being of the same generation, age and mentality, your MIL is more likely to get along better with your mother than you, a ‘flashy’ babe of the 21st century. Let your mother handle that aspect. A good relationship between the two women will only tip the table in your favour, okay? Good.

15. Communicate With Her:
Did your heart just skip a beat?! I hear some of the ladies saying ‘Over my dead body! I can’t have anything to do with my mother-in-law’. Remember, loving the honey and hating the bees is not only hypocritical, it does not make sense. Choose your time very well, when she is in high spirits and have a deep, mother-daughter discussion with her. Do not avoid your MIL. You will only succeed in making yourself more of a stranger (which was your status before).

16. Be kind and compassionate:
Especially if she is of frail health. You’ve got a mother too and one day, you will also become a mother-in-law. Remember the Golden Rule, and yeah, the Law of Karma.

17. Chill:
Most of the time, mothers-in-law do not have any evil behind even the most mischievous of their actions. They are only a bit insecure thinking that no person is good enough for their child, or a woman has come to spoil the existing mother-son relationship. Such a reaction is perfectly normal and natural. Do not give yourself sleepless nights over that. Studies have show that most of the time, they mean no harm.
H
18. Prod Him On If Need Be:
Make sure your husband performs his roles and fulfills his responsibilities as a child to parents. Apart from the fact that you will be laying a very good foundation for your own kids, no one will accuse you of being a callous wife who made him turn his back on his siblings and parents. Be very firm and insistent on this. That he is madly in love with you does not mean he should forget his source. Remind him if he drifts off, it will not be to your benefit.

19. Do Not Let Your Ego Get In The Way:
Do not think twice before apologizing and making amends if you have offended her. But do not degrade yourself for something you’ve never done. Do not allow anyone to blackmail you into submission or surrender. Funnily enough, she may find it difficult to apologize to you because of many reasons. Do not take that to heart. It is the pride of a mother-in-law.

20. Avoid Arguments With Her:
Oh, you prefer to cook meat by boiling it and she prefers steaks? Do not drag the issue needlessly. Calmly agree. Remember arguments with even your own Mom do not always come out nicely. It is better to lose an argument to your mother-in-law than for you to lose your mother-in-law to an argument. Use your head and keep your debating skills for your girlfriends (especially if you are a lawyer…lmao!)

21. Always See The Good Side Of Your MIL:
Positivity helps. Avoid being judgmental. You cannot form that bond of love if you are always judging her.

22. Let Her Mingle With Her Grandchildren Freely.
Studies have shown that mother-in-laws actually see your own kids as 100% theirs! If she wants to pamper them to high heavens and take them out and have them to herself all day long at the beach, just let them go. You will even have the whole house to yourself and your husband! And what can be better than that? #winks!
 
23. Pray, pray and PRAY!
 
For those who think MILs are overbearing, you need to realize that she actually made him who he is. She fed him, suffered for him, was hurt because of him, kept him safe and warm, watched him grow…all these understandably makes her possessive (she has the right to), and that is normal (are you not jealously possessive of your hubby even without all these, yes, you now gerrit). She may also be afraid or insecure that she will grow old and the son she has laboured for all her life will forget and abandon her. As a daughter-in-law, ease all these fears, see things through her lenses and you become best of friends!
Remember that even the strongest of marriages can be destroyed with inlaw troubles. Be smart, diplomatic and calm in all your dealings. A friendly disposition will go a long way to helping you and making friends out of your enemies. Atimes, you may need to work very hard to make it work but do not give up because it is worth it.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

TERM OF THE DAY.

 

S corporation

Type of the US coporate structure in which the firm's income is passed through its stockholders (shareholders) in proportion of their investment, and taxed at personal income tax rates. S corporations ('S' stands for 'small') can have only one type of stock and only a limited number of stockholders. Also called subchapter S corporation.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

THREE NIGERIANS (JOKE)

Three Americans and three Nigerians are traveling by a US train to a conference. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Nigerians buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an American. "Watch the ride my youth !" answers a Nigerian. They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Nigerians cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train is departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Americans decide to copy the Nigerians on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Nigerians don`t buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed American. "Watch the ride my youth !! " says a Nigerian. When they board the train the three Americans cram into a restroom and the three Nigerians cram into another one nearby.

The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Nigerians leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Americans are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please".

you go fear...

A CALL FROM HELL TO HELL (JOKE)

Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton & Abacha died and all went straight to hell.

Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.

She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well devil how much do I owe you for the call?

The devil replied, "Five million dollars"

She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Bill Clinton was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"

He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked, "Well,devil how much do I owe you?

The devil replied, "Ten million dollars"

With a smug look on his face, and feeling more important than the English, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

Abacha was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Nigeria too, I want to see how everybody is doing there too. I wanna talk to the ministers, the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody".....

He called Nigeria and he talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked, "Well, devil how much do I owe you for my long call?

The devil replied "One dollar!".

Abacha is stunned & queries the devil. "One dollar Only one dollar ke??"

The devil replied. "Well, when you make a call from one hell to another hell, we bill it at a local rate".

ENJOY NIGERIAN AIRWAYS (JOKE)

 I hope you enjoy reading this, it's a bit long but funny. Please enjoy.

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (Boniface) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the south. If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!

Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with great pleasure; I announce that since starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!

To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits! For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Al Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this plane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seatbelt. For those of you who can’t find a seatbelt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat …and for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
Enjoy Nigeria Airways

NIGERIAN HELL (JOKE)

A man dies and goes to hell.

There he finds that there is a different hell for each country and decides
he'll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.

He goes to Germany hell & asks, "what do they do here?" He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".

The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on.

He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.

He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell. Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in ... Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Nigerian devil comes in & whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many
people waiting to get in?" asks the man.

"Because there is never any electricity so the electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for his private business.

My people u go fear hell fire...

10 THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN CHOOSING YOUR PARTNER.

Marriage i feel is an institution without an award certificate, its a process of leaning and understanding, Growth and sacrifice; an unending commitetment between the two couples.
Here are some tips i feel is needing when choosing your man or woman;

1. Dont get married to a man who is mean to all and nize to you alone.

2. Dont get married to a person who dont care about any one else but you.

3. Dont get married to a person who is not ready to correct you.

4. Dont get married to a person who fears you and cant talk to you.

5. Dont correct insult with insult.

6. Dont get married to any person that lacks respect for you.

7. Dont get married to any person who is not commited to God and your relationship.

8. Dont get married to any person who cant notice a need in you; ( material & character )

9. Dont get married to a person you are lusting after.

10. Dont praise your spouse for their anger.

please post your comment...

YOUR FUTURE, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

Everybody in your situation has the same choice: you can rue your
situation or you can dedicate yourself to changing it. Accept
responsibility for your future. Refuse to complain, criticize, or
condemn."

-- kingsleygalant

POLICE NO DEY LOOK. (JOKE)

I was driving down the street when a police man stop my car and immediately opened the door enter and jammed it.

As usual he wanted to collect "roja"money from me...Then sudenly he saw the big grown dog at the back of the seat with tongue stuck out angrily staring fiercely at him.

POLICE: [shakin] Ah! You carry dog?

ME: [I bone my face] Yes!
POLICE: [feeling uncomfortable] Na where una come dey come from?
ME: From hospital!
POLICE: [feeling uneasy] Ehen! You sick?
ME: No, na the dog o.
POLICE: [Looks back] Why the dog come dey shake im head like dat?
ME: Oh! Like that? If the dog wan bite person na so e dey shake head o.
POLICE: and the dog know you o?
ME: Yes na, no be me get am?
POLICE: [sweating] This your door how you dey open am?
ME: Open it na, abi u no know as you take enter.
POLICE: Abeg! Na since I notice the dog I don dey try open am.


TERM OF THE DAY

 

full employment

State of economy in which all eligible people who want to work can find employment at prevailin wage rates. However, it does not imply 100% employment because allowances must be made for frictional unemployment and seasonal factors.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

A COUPLE NITE OUT (JOKE)

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain; and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband didn’t know what costume she’d be wearing, she thought she’d have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she wasn’t around.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every chick he could, getting a little kiss here and a warm squeeze there. His wife went up to him and being rather seductive herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to this new babe had just arrived.
She let him do whatever he wished, naturally, since he was her
husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and they did it all!
Zowie! Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in. She asked how the evening had been? He said “Oh, the same old thing. You know, I never have a good time when you’re not there.” Then she asked, “Did you dance much?”
He replied, “You know, I didn’t dance even one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I’ll tell you…from what I heard, the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!”

What a crazy experience...

AKPOS A GHANIAN (JOKE)


Akpos, a Ghanian, just got admission into one of Nigerian institutions. At first day of lecture, following conversation erupted…..
The Lecturer said, “let’s begin by reviewing some Nigerian history.” The Lecturer asked said, “I shall return to die in the land of my fathers?”
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Akpos, who had his hand up. Akpos replied: “King Jaja of Opobo, 1875″”very good!” said lecturer.
Then, she asked again, who said, “The land use act will feed the nation?” Again, no response except from Akpos:”Obasanjo , 1976.”The Lecturer snapped at the class; “class, you should be ashamed. Akpos, who is new to our Country, knows more about our history than you do.”
The Lecturer heard a loud whisper:”Ghana must go”. “who said that?” shedemanded, Akpos put his hand up,”Buhari 1984.” At that point, a student at the back scornfully said;”Hmmm, you think you are smart?”
The Lecturer glared and asked; “All right! Now, who said that?” Again, Akpos said,”Babangida to Abiola,1992.” Hmmm, a Student at the back smilled “I dey laugh ooh” Akpos smilled back and said Obasanjo to Atiku 2001. Now furious, another student yelled;”Oh yeah! Eat this!” Akpos jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the Lecturer,”India n mistress giving an apple to Abacha, 1998″
Now, with almost mob hyseria, someone said; “You little poo. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.” Akpos frantically yelled at the top of his voice; “Chris Uba to Ngige, 2004!” The Lecturer fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said; “Oh poo, we’re in Big trouble now!” Akpos whispered; “Chimaroke Nnamani, Ayodele Fayose and Lucky Igbinedon 2007″ Someone angrily said; “Dont answer him, he is a fool” Akpos smiled nd replied; “Obansanjo to IBB, 2011″ Now,
the Lecturer managed to get up and asked Akpos; pls, who’re you? Show your self.. Akpos jumped, yelled and said; Jonathan to BOKO HARAM, 2012

AKPOS AND BONKE (JOKE)

Rev. Reinhard Bonke came to Okuokoko village in Delta state for a convention. He mounted podium and started preaching gospel.
Barely 10 minutes into the sermon, he noticed that the congregation were not catching up seriously.
He called on the nearest (Akpomiemie) and asked him why they were looking blank.
Akpomiemie answered “sir, dem no understand your big English”.
Reinhard Bonke thought for a moment and then asked Akpomiemie for assistance
This is what ensued:
Reinhard Bonke: “As it is written in the bible”
Akpomiemie: “As dem yarn for bible side”
Reinhard Bonke: “Jesus entered the boat with his disciples”
Akpomiemie: “Naim Jesus fall inside canoe with him palles”
Reinhard Bonke: “As the boat was sailing there was a great storm”
Akpomiemie: ” As the canoe dey remove naim yawa come gas”
Reinhard Bonke: ” the storm was so great that it was like a whirl wind”
Akpomiemie: “the yawa na die so tay kasala burst enter”
Reinhard Bonke: ” the disciples became so afraid and they shouted master master”
Akpomiemie: “naim liver drop him palles,dem begin hala bros bros”
Reinhard Bonke: “Jesus got up and calmed down the wind”
Akpomiemie: “Naim Jesus rise up come arrange the yawa”
Reinhard Bonke: ” He turned to his disciples and said, oh ye men of little faith”
Akpomiemie: Na so Jesus look him palles, shake him head say UNA FALL MY HAND ”
Reinhard Bonke: the disciples replied and said what manner of man is this?
Akpomiemie: him palles come hala say sho, bro J, which levels? ,YOU BE WINSH?”

post your comment...

Friday, March 15, 2013

PYGMY WHALE WASHED UP ASHORE



Yesterday and endangered specie, the pygmy Whale, washed up ashore still alive at the Lekki Beach in Lagos. Unfortunately for the whale and conservationists, local residents wasted no time in butchering the whale for its meat!


BEYONCE AND JAY Z NO LONGER LIVING TOGETHER



Beyonce and Jay Z’s marriage might not be as happy as they want fans to believe.
According to Beyonce’s credit report, which was obtained by a Russian website, the singer owns a luxury condo in Miami — which she uses as her official address!
The website, Exposed.su, posted the confidential credit reports of top shelf celebrities and notables, including Beyonce, her aging husband Jay Z; First Lady Michelle Obama, Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian, Mel Gibson and others.
Beyonce G Knowles, 31, apparently filed for credit (or a loan) and listed her official address as the entire 18th floor at 1450 Brickell Ave, Miami, FL 33131. Anyone who is familiar with Brickell avenue knows that it is the playground of the rich and famous.
Beyonce, whose social security number, date of birth and phone numbers are also listed on the Russian website, is obligated to give her official address when applying for credit, like everyone else.
It’s interesting that she gave the Miami address rather than her NY address where she ves with Jay Z, 45, and the couple’s daughter, Blue Ivy, 1.
This fuels rumors that Jay Z and Beyonce’s marriage is just a sham to cover up reports that the rap mogul and former NFL star Larry Johnson, 33, may still be lovers.

EXPERIMENTS (JOKE)

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.

AKPOS AND FRIEND

Akpos and his two friends attended a party and got themselfs drunk......On there way home they chatted a cab(taxi).When they entered, they told the driver there destination..The driver noticing that they were drunk started his car and turned it off..He turned and told them that have arrieved at their destination......they paid the taxi driver his money,, and he was happy that his plan worked... to his grtest suprise while AKPOS was coming down he gave him a sound slap....the driver thought that Akpos knew what he did but decided to ask Akpos why the slap and Akpos answerd ``YOU ALMOST KILLED US````

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Charles Inojie & Baby: Any Resemblance?

 


We broke the story that Abuja based Lynn was supposedly pregnant for the actor when she was a few weeks due in 2012 and then again i broke the story of the baby’s birth and also talked with the actor who was then engaged to be married.
He wasn’t sure the baby was his. A few months into the birth of her child,Lynn accused me of writing the story to favour Charles and not caring about the baby who needed a father. Click below to continue.
I published her response to Charles where she dared him to go for fatherhood test.
I don’t think that both are in contact but this is what Lynn’s baby looks like .
Any Resemblance between Charles Inojie and this little beautiful Angel?
She is so beautiful and it is so sad she is caught up in all this mess.
So whats your honest opinion?
Please no cursing out,we are trying to soften things up so this ANGEL can meet
her Father.
This baby is a spitting image of you Charles….the nose,the eyes…your blood strong

Rihanna Shares Pic Of Herself With No Panties On (Photo)

 

 

Rihanna sure never gets tired of showing off her bod.
She recently tweeted a picture of herself wearing a T-shirt and nothing underneath (according to a very perv’y reader who decided to do some more digging).
Check out the pictures below:

Okada Rider To Death While Trying to Escape Police Arrest

 


Angry commercial motorcyclists, popularly called, Okada riders, went on rampage yesterday evening in Akowonjo area of Alimosho Local Government when an okada rider was crushed to death by a fast moving truck at Akowonjo roundabout when he tried to flee from Police men who wanted to arrest him for no reason.
The incident occurred around 6pm. The victim, Rahman is a tailor, who used to run okada business in the evening. He is said to be 27years old. A pic of him when you continue. Viewers discretion is advised.

PHOTOS: Pictures Of Fashion Blunders

 



Fashion is cyclical. Trends come and go, many of them to be resurrected in 20 years and then forgotten again until the next go-round.
On the other hand, there are awful dead fashion outfits people wear that should never be seen again, but some have insisted on lingering well past their expiration dates. If you actually wear any of these outfits below or if you’ve stashed them in your closet, waiting for the moment they make a comeback, please, do yourself a favor and get rid of them immediately.

My Husband Does Not Last Long In Bed And Now I’m Sleeping With My Ex



Hello, please post this as you might just be helping me save my future.
My name is Tayo. I’m 25 and might be getting married in December, if only I will say yes to my man.
He’s 31 by the way, but I told him I was going to think about it. To cut the story short, I’m really scared of getting married to him because I wouldn’t want to cheat on my husband. This guy is not even a one minute man when it comes to sex. He is a 5 seconds person. I’ve complained severally and he has tried to take all kinds of drugs to make him last but they don’t work.
Whenever we are ready to get down and he is inside me, he just thrusts for 5 seconds and that’s it. Then he leaves me wanting and he can’t go a second round because his body can’t do it. There was a time I was so horny, I had to go meet my ex and yes he made me feel like a woman. But with my soon to be hubby I don’t feel that way. He does not smooch me, he just goes straight in and then everything is over in a blink. I’m just frustrated and I need advice because he has tried basically every solution including Viagra, but the after effect was bad.
How can I be a faithful wife after I get married to this guy when he can’t even satisfy my urge? What should I do?

Men of God marrying Men of God

 




My people I have nothing against homosexuals. People’s sexual orientation is their business as long as they do not disturb us with it…but if you’re a Man of God, someone who knows God and the scripture, someone who should lead people to the right path in life, is it okay to be shacking up with other men, and doing it openly?
Read the last sentence on the intro above. It says – Rev. Jones-Wade (pictured above on the right) is married to First Gentleman, Job Jones-Wade…they reside in the DC area. a’fi First Gentleman no’o! Lol. The guy on the left is openly gay Nigerian pastor Rowland Jide Macaulay. What do you guys think of Men of God marrying men?

please post a comment.

We Hid Stolen Cars In Church – Robbers



Three robbery suspects, who for months, after snatching cars from female drivers, hid them in a catholic church, have been arrested by the Special Anti Robbery Squad, Ikeja, Lagos State.
Chinedu Ndubisi, 23, Haruna Mohammed, 44 and Slyvanus Happyday, 35, were before their arrest, members of a five-man gang, who terrorised Epe, Ajah, Lekki Peninsula and Victoria Island areas.
The gang leader, Ndubuisi, told PUNCH Metro how they were able to use church premises for their nefarious activities.
He said, “We have an operational car, a Toyota Corolla. Although we all drive, Haruna drives us during operations because he is very good.
“Whenever we see a choice automobile being driven by a woman, I instruct Haruna quickly hit her from behind. Often any female driver will leave her car key at the ignition whenever you hit her car. That is what we take advantage of.
“The moment the woman steps out to check the extent of damage to her car, John and Festus, who are still at large, would quickly get into the woman’s car and drive off.”
Ndubuisi told PUNCH Metro that they had no need to operate with guns.
He said, “Once a woman’s car is hit, she will walk towards the car of the person who hit her. Immediately John and Festus will drive off the victim’s car, we follow suit. Everything is done quickly so that the victim is taken by surprise.
“We drive to a Catholic church at Sangotedo where we park the stolen car without the knowledge of the parish priest. I am a Catholic and I know the church members are allowed to park their cars there for at least three days. That is enough time for us to get a buyer and dispose of the car without attracting attention.”
A contract technician, Happyday, told PUNCH Metro that he was a buyer of the stolen vehicles. He said, “I know the cars given to me for sale are stolen but I didn’t mind. I am a technician by profession and often get contracts with oil companies. My last contract ended last year. Since then, I have been idle. That is how I got myself into trouble.”
Police Public Relations Officer, Lagos Command, Ngozi Briade, a DSP, confirmed the incident.
She said, “The suspects were arrested when they tried to sell a Toyota Corolla LE with number plate AG 816 SGD stolen from a woman at Chevron New Road, Ajah.
“Ndubuisi had given the car to a soldier to sell at Abuja. The car was traced to the soldier who after his arrest led the SARS team to Ndubuisi. Ndubisi was tricked into believing that the car had been sold and that the money was at a bank in Mayfair, Ajah. He was tracked down to the bank through his victim’s blackberry which was still in his possession.
“Women drivers should be security-conscious; they should make good use of their side mirrors to know whether the driver that hit them from behind is alone or with other men in his car. This will enable her to know whether to stop or keep moving. Distress numbers have been provided by the Commissioner of Police, the public should make use of them.”

Why Should A Man Do This To His Wife On Their Wedding Day? (PHOTO

 


This is really hard to believe… Maybe his hand, had a mind of it’s own.
You know, one of those un-coordinated movement we do without really knowing.
Anyway, Happy Married Life to them…

New Pope Elected: Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina

 



76 year old Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Buenos Aries in Argentina has been named the 266th Pope. He’s the first Latin-American Pope in the history of the Catholic Church, which is the longest running institution in the history of mankind…almost 2,000 years old.
The new Pope was the archbishop of Buenos Aires, Argentina before he was elected to lead the Catholic church. He was ordained for the Jesuits on Dec. 13, 1969. He has chosen the Papal name – Pope Francis 1

Armed Robbers Raid The Departure Lounge Of Lagos International Airport Killing At Least Two Policemen

 



Dare devil robbers stormed the departure lounge of Nigeria’s busiest commercial airport, the Murtala Muhammed International airport in Lagos killing at least two armed police officers in the process.
The robbers reportedly trailed a large amount of money transported in a bullion van en route to Dubai to the departure lounge, they struck as as soon as the monies were carried in bags to the departure lounge.
Eyewitnesses said the unprecedented raid led to complete pandemonium in the lounge with several passengers injured as they made to escape the attack. Many passengers were checking in to catch their flights to Europe, US, Asia, Middle East and different parts of the world when the robbers struck on Wednesday evening.
There is no official comment from airport authorities regarding the incident as at the time of publishing this report

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

B-R-E-A-K-I-N-G News! Commercial Bus Loaded With Passengers Falls Into Lagoon.

 



A commercial bus carrying unspecified number of passengers, including a baby to Obalende, Lagos has reportedly plunged into the Lagos state Lagoon.
The accident happened at the near Oworonsoki and Yaba Juction, In Lagos.

MY LEFT ME BECAUSE AM AN OSU(OUTCAST)

A lady just stormed to my office crying that her fiance refused to marry her because he realized she is an Osu.


What kinda selfish and stupid man is this? You cohabited with a lady for 5 years. You had sex with her for 5 good years. Fortunately she is from the same local government with you and you know much about her. It is time for marriage. She gave you all she had, plus her whole love. You have realized she is Osu. All the time you made love to her, was she not an Osu? If you can have her for 5 years, why would you not be courageous to marry her now?

Why are most Men this Heartless?

NADIA BUARI SHOWCASES HER TATOO

Tattoo is the new trend among African celebrities, these people are meant to be role model to younger generation, what do you think of Nadia Buari?



 

Kanu Heart Foundation N5b Specialist Cardiac Centre Fundraiser

 



The legendary footballer will hold his foundation’s fundraiser this Thursday March 14th at the Congress Hall of the Transcorp Hilton Hotel, Abuja. Time 5 pm.
Kanu is trying to raise $35 million (N5 billion) to build a Cardiac Specialist Hospital that will offer free surgery services for children from 1-12 years while adult patients will be highly subsidized. See more after the cut…

Kanu Heart Foundation has carried out 452 open heart surgeries since inception in 2000.
All surgeries done in foreign countries like England, Israel, India, and Sudan.
Capital flight involved is much
Federal government of Nigeria has given the Kanu Heart Foundation a piece of land in Abuja for the project.
The Cardiac Specialist Hospital is a 40 beded Hospital with State of the Artificialities.
Nigerian President , Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonthan is the Special Guest of honour while Former President Chief Olusegun Obansanjo and Ibrahim Babangida are Father of the Day and Chairman respectively.
FIFA Secretary General Walter Gagj has confirmed his attendance
Nwankwo Kanu Former Super Eagles captain said the construction of the centre would facilitate the dream of its 13-year-old foundation of treating more children having heart-related problems within the country.
It is hoped that the diner will raise enough money to commence the construction of a specialist cardiac hospital in Nigeria.
Kanu has stated that President Good- luck has graciously accepted to be Special Guest of Honour at the fund raising event, while calling on well- meaning Nigerians, corporate bodies and multinationals to be part of the laudable project.
According to the Coordinator/Trustee of Kanu Heart Foundation, Onyebuchi Abia, when in full operation, the centre would save an average of 250 children and 100 adults heart patients in a one year through the free surgery initiative of the foundation. Heart patients between the ages of 0-12 will also receive free surgery treatment, while patients above 12 years old will be treated at a highly-subsidised fee. It would also save this nation about $5million annually and reduce capital flight.”
Kanu added: “The truth is that we have done 452 in all. We started from UK and it was quite expensive. On one child we have to spend between 15,000 and 20,000 pounds sterling and we are talking about the cost of operation alone. “We are not talking about flight, accommodation and feeding. We were forced to seek alternative in Israel where it is less expensive and we are able to touch more kids. All the same it is still expensive.”
He said he was touched by the plight of parents and children in the country who do not have the advantage that he has, hence his desire to bring smiles on the lips of more victims of heart-related ailments.
There is an opportunity to make donations online or to KHF directly
Please log on to http://kanuheartfoundationng.com/
Cardiac Centre website: http://www.kanuheartfoundation.org/

Impeach Jonathan Now In The Interest Of Nigerians – Senator

Impeach Jonathan Now In The Interest Of Nigerians – Senator



President Goodluck Jonathan has been decribed as lacking in capacity for governance by the vice chairman of the Senate Committee on Federal Character and Inter-Governmental Affairs, Senator Babajide Omoworare.
Addressing journalists at the National Assembly Complex yesterday, Omoworare (ACN, Osun East) said “the president is not doing enough.
I’ve repeatedly said on the floor of the Senate that I personally have challenges with the president’s capacity to administer Nigeria. He may be a good-natured man, but governing Nigeria takes more than being good-natured.
I’m not a fan of former President Olusegun Obasanjo who sometimes does some self-glorification, but Obasanjo, even if wrong, was taking decisions, but the incumbent president doesn’t take decisions and doesn’t even understand the rudiments of governance.
“As a senator, I don’t have light in my houses in Ife and Lagos. I know we still import fuel to favour some people…we’ve spent trillions of naira on fuel subsidy.
These trillions would’ve been used to set up refineries, whether done by the government or by individuals; it doesn’t matter to the electorate. Fuel can sell for less than N40 per litre in Nigeria if there are enough refineries,” he said.
The legislator, who called on Senators to go beyond party boundary and do what is best in the interest of Nigerians by impeaching Mr Jonathan, said, “the worst we can do to the president is impeachment.
How many PDP senators will allow you to impeach him irrespective of how bad some of us feel he is? You can’t even raise it, if you do, they (PDP senators) would shout you down. But there must be a limit to politics.
As senators of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, if it’s in the interest of Nigeria as a whole that we take a decision,

Governor Akpabio Purchases Million-Dollar Bullet Proof Luxury Vans

Governor Akpabio Purchases Million-Dollar Bullet Proof Luxury Vans





Just months after purchasing a $45 million dollar jet, and a few days after recklessly doling out several thousands of dollars to Nigerian music star, 2Face and his wife, Akwa Ibom State Governor Godswill Akpabio has taken possession of several bulletproof sprinter luxury vans from US based Texas Armoring Corporation (TAC).
A source told Saharareporters that the governor took delivery of the Mercedes Benz made vans recently after they were customized to his specifications by TAC in Texas.
The vans will join a remarkable fleet of top-of-the-line bulletproof luxury Sport Utility Vehicles (SUV) Akpabio already has in his official convoy, making the latest purchase superfluous and insensitive, insiders in the government told SaharaReporters.
The Texas Armoring Company has displayed the luxurious interior of Mr. Akpabio’s latest toy on its Facebook page.
The Akwa Ibom governor, who intends to run for the Senate when his second term ends, has emerged as one of Nigeria’s hardest-spending governors, with a taste for the finest things, while most of his State remains undeveloped. He is also one of President Goodluck Jonathan’s closest confidants, and recently emerged chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party Governors’ Forum, with a mandate to help Jonathan win re-election in 2015.
Insiders say some governors convert some of the luxury possessions into personal items they take with them when they leave office, or give away as presents to friends

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

There’s no poverty in Nigeria? Say what now, Kemi Olunloyo?

There’s no poverty in Nigeria? Say what now, Kemi Olunloyo?

 



In Gary Coleman’s voice – watchutalkingaboutKemi? If you’ve never heard about this woman, you better ask somebody or Google her, biko. I no fit explain who she be…I wouldn’t even know where to start..:-) But who agrees with her

I can’t stand my wife anymore; should I stay or go?

I can’t stand my wife anymore; should I stay or go?

 


“I found out my wife of 11 years cheated on me with some guy. This was last year June. She confessed to me after I confronted her with the facts. I decided to forgive her and stay married to her because I have cheated on her in the past too and I didn’t want to destroy our family because we have four small children together. The thing now is; I don’t love her anymore. I can’t stand her and can’t even bare to touch her. When she talks to me I get so angry I feel like stabbing her in the eye but I’ve never laid hands on her. I don’t talk to her much except when we want to talk about the kids. We live in the same house but as strangers. She’s really tried to make it up but it’s not working. I actually hate it when she’s around me, and haven’t touched her since I found out about the cheating
I thought my anger and disgust at her would fade with time but it’s been 9 months and I still feel this way. Will this anger ever go away or should I just end things with her?

Mandela Is Losing His Memory

Mandela Is Losing His Memory



Mr George Bizos, Former President Nelson Mandela’s close friend and long time lawyer, has said that the memory of the 94-year-old South Africa’s political icon is fading.
He told newsmen in Johannesburg on Monday after visiting Mandela that “he was doing okay” but that his memory was not what it used to be. Bizos said that Mandela seemed to have forgotten that some of their mutual friends had died.
“Unfortunately, he sometimes forgets that one or two of them had passed on and his face is blank when you tell him that Walter Sisulu and some others are no longer with us,” he said.
Bizos said Mandela was aware of current political events but didn’t comment on them.
“If he was asked ‘What do you think about this or that issue?, his inevitable response was ‘Go ask my president’. He never wanted to second guess his successor,” Bizos said.
It would be recalled that Mandela was discharged from a Pretoria hospital on Sunday after undergoing a routine test and medical check up over the weekend.
He was said to be recovering at home in Houghton, Johannesburg

Actress Dakore Egbeson In Nose Plastic Surgery Scandal – Did She Get A Nose Job?

Actress Dakore Egbeson In Nose Plastic Surgery Scandal – Did She Get A Nose Job?



Did Dakore Get A Nose Job?
Nollywood actress Dakore Akande Nee Egbuson is in a fresh scandal and this time around it’s not about her elegant wedding to a wealthy man’s son.
The above picture of Dakore (on the right) was recently shared on instagram and the picture brought about a different nose shape than the usual Dakore.
Some folks claim that the nice makeup she used brought about the contour on her nose while others claim it’s the photographer’s angle that did the magic.
Amebos claim Dakore did plastic surgery on her nose.
People do plastic surgery for different reasons.
While others will do it to satisfy a spouse or partner, some folks do it for self esteem issues.
In the case of Dakore, if she actually did a nose job, it might for a very personal reason.
She got married to Olumide Akande, the son of wealthy chief Harry Akande in January 2011.
The beautiful mother of one is really enjoying motherhood. See her glowing skin…
The new shape of Dakore’s nose makes her look better… True or false?

A CURE FOR CANCER, check inside

A CURE FOR CANCER, check inside



Graviola according to a report is “10000 times stronger killer of CANCER than Chemo”.. do share it.. can save many lives, fill up hopes and build confidence in the patients…
The Sour Sop or the fruit from the graviola tree is a miraculous natural cancer cell killer 10,000 times stronger than Chemo… …Why are we not aware of this? Its because some big corporation want to make back their money spent on years of research by trying to make a synthetic version of it for sale.
So, since you know it now you can help a friend in need by letting him know or just drink some sour sop juice yourself as prevention from time to time. The taste is not bad after all. It’s completely natural and definitely has no side effects. If you have the space, plant one in your garden.
The other parts of the tree are also useful. The next time you have a fruit juice, ask for a sour sop.
How many people died in vain while this billion-dollar drug maker concealed the secret of the miraculous Graviola tree?
Research shows that with extracts from this miraculous tree it now may be possible to:
* Attack cancer safely and effectively with an all-natural therapy that does not cause extreme nausea, weight loss and hair loss
* Protect your immune system and avoid deadly infections
* Feel stronger and healthier throughout the course of the treatment
* Boost your energy and improve your outlook on life
The source of this information is just as stunning: It comes from one of America ‘s largest drug manufacturers, th! e fruit of over 20 laboratory tests conducted since the 1970′s! What those tests revealed was nothing short of mind numbing… Extracts from the tree were shown to:
* Effectively target and kill malignant cells in 12 types of cancer, including colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreatic cancer..
* The tree compounds proved to be up to 10,000 times stronger in slowing the growth of cancer cells than Adriamycin, a commonly used chemother*peutic drug!
* What’s more, unlike chemotherapy, the compound extracted from the Graviola tree selectively hunts
down and kills only cancer cells.. It does not harm healthy cells!
The amazing anti-cancer properties of the Graviola tree have been extensively researched–so why haven’t you heard anything about it? If Graviola extract is One of America ‘s biggest billion-dollar drug makers began a search for a cancer cure and their research centered on Graviola, a legendary healing tree from the Amazon Rainforest.
Various parts of the Graviola tree–including the bark, leaves, roots, fruit and fruit-seeds–have been used for centuries by medicine men and native Indians in South America to treat heart disease, asthma, liver problems and arthritis. Going on very little documented scientific evidence, the company poured money and resources into testing the tree’s anti-cancerous properties–and were shocked by the results. Graviola proved itself to be a cancer-killing dynamo.
But that’s where the Graviola story nearly ended.
Miracle unleashed
When researchers at the Health Sciences Institute were alerted to the news of Graviola,! they be gan tracking the research done on the cancer-killing tree. Evidence of the astounding effectiveness of Graviola–and its shocking cover-up–came in fast and furious….
…The National Cancer Institute performed the first scientific research in 1976. The results showed that Graviola’s “leaves and stems were found effective in attacking and destroying malignant cells.” Inexplicably, the results were published in an internal report and never released to the public…
…since 1976, Graviola has proven to be an immensely potent cancer killer in 20 independent laboratory tests, yet no double-blind clinical trials–the typical benchmark mainstream doctors and journals use to judge a treatment’s value–were ever initiated….
…A study published in the Journal of Natural Products, following a recent study conducted at Catholic University of South Korea stated that one chemical in Graviola was found to selectively kill colon cancer cells at “10,000 times the potency of (the commonly used chemotherapy drug) Adriamycin…”
…The most significant part of the Catholic University of South Korea report is that Graviola was shown to selectively target the cancer cells, leaving healthy cells untouched. Unlike chemotherapy, which indiscriminately targets all actively reproducing cells (such as stomach and hair cells), causing the often devastating side effects of nausea and hair loss in cancer patients.
…A study at Purdue University recently found that leaves from the Graviola tree killed cancer cells among six human cell lines and were especially effective against prostate, pancreatic and lung cancers Seven years of silence broken–it’s finally here!!!

Benny Hinn remarries former wife

Benny Hinn remarries former wife

 


Televangelist Benny Hinn has remarried his former wife and mother of his four children, Suzanne Harthern. Hinn married Suzanne in 1979 and divorced her 31 years later in 2010. He claimed at the time that the split came about because of Suzanne’s addiction to prescription drugs. In 2012, Hinn announced that he and Suzanne have begun reconciliation and the couple remarried on Sunday March 3, 2013 in Orlando, Florida. Inspiring

Stop indulging in oral sex now!’ CLAM pastor Wole Oladiyun warns

Stop indulging in oral sex now!’ CLAM pastor Wole Oladiyun warns
 


Say what now, pastor? No oral sex? Mbanu…lol. Senior Pastor of Christ Livingspring Apostolic Ministry, (CLAM) pastor Wole Oladiyun says people who indulge in oral sex are damaging their glory.
“Homosexualism, lesbianism, beslialism and incest will disfigure your glory. God hates them. Prostitution, adultery and fornication will grieve a glorious destiny. May I equally add that men and women sucking their private parts are damaging their glories. Demonic partners have done a lot of havoc through this act. Honestly, it is simply unhygienic and dirty.
I like unhygienic and dirty. Dear future husband, please take note!

Jay Leno can’t take his eyes off Halle Berry’s cleavage

Jay Leno can’t take his eyes off Halle Berry’s cleavage

 


The Tonight Show host couldn’t take his eyes off Halle Berry’s chest when she appeared on his show yesterday evening. Halle wore a strapless low cut dress that showed a lot of her upper chest area. See more photos after the cut…

I Slept With My Brother-In-Law By Mistake”

I Slept With My Brother-In-Law By Mistake”



I had sex with my brother-in-law by mistake. In the dark I thought he was my husband.
I’m 29, my husband’s 31. His parents held a family party for his niece’s 18th birthday last weekend.
Everyone was there, including my husband’s brother who was home from working away in Saudi. He’s 36.
We all get on well and there was plenty of alcohol and food. It was a nice party and we carried on drinking and dancing into the small hours.
My husband went up to bed before me and said he’d be waiting for me. I followed him up 20 minutes later. I got into bed feeling frisky and we ended up having sex.
I woke up a couple of hours later and sat up to get a drink of water. I pulled back the curtain to let some light in through the window from the street lamp right outside the bedroom.
I looked round and got the shock of my life when I realised I was in bed with the wrong man. The man beside me was my husband’s brother. I’d gone into the wrong bedroom and I guess my brother-in-law thought it was his lucky day. We had all had a lot to drink.
I ran to the right bedroom and crawled into bed with my husband who was fast asleep. Then I realised I’d left my underwear in the other room, so I sneaked back.
My brother-in-law was stirring so I hissed that we must keep quiet about what had happened. He just said, “Whatever.”
He’s flown back to Saudi now but I don’t know whether to admit everything to my husband. If this comes out I’ll lose a man I love more than anything and cause family ructions